Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor
Ecclesiastes 4:9 New King James Bible (NKJV)
I recently celebrated 21 years of marriage to the same woman. While some may think whether it is necessary to stay committed to one person for a long period, I believe that if done God’s way, you will not lack His support and the results that He promised.
While i would agree that we have had some challenging times during this period, I can also boldly say that we have come out as better persons, seasoned and wiser in the process through the grace and the help of God.
Over the years, I have learnt some lessons and that is what I want to share today:
- Resolve issues as quickly as I can
- Do not let anger or resentment fester or carry on till the next day
- Pray together as often as I can with my wife and children
- Recognize that my wife is different from me and that I cannot change the essence of who she is – only God can
- Accept her for who she is – strengths, weaknesses and all
- Discover and utilize her primary love language
- Tolerate her especially when I don’t understand her
- Defer to her in areas where she is stronger, smarter or better than me
- Respect her opinion even though I may disagree sometimes
- Prioritize her above the children
- Be open about any concerns I may have over any issue
- Gauge her mood and choose the right moment to raise important issues
- Extend mercy and grace to her and also forgive
- Appeal to God when nothing she does makes sense to me
- Challenge her to become her best self
- Talk, listen, wait, negotiate and pray until we can agree
- Give my wife space sometimes because girls will be girls and boys will be boys
- Meet her needs so that she can meet mine too
- One of the greatest gifts I can give my children is to love their mother unconditionally
- Keep family issues in the family and not expose my family to in-laws and outlaws
- Just have fun and enjoy the journey as much as I can every day
I hope that this has helped you in some way or the other. You can have your marriage as God intended originally.
Go, make it happen!